~~"Husband and wife
have a solemn responsability
to love and care for each other." ~~
Are you a person of details?
How often do you say I LOVE YOU to your spouse?
When was the last time you two went out together?
I am always searching for small things to
do to help my dear husband feel how much he means for me.
I just love to surprise him, I love to see him smiling. I am always thinking... He married ME, he chose me and I chose him over... thousands of thousands... I am constantly doing things to remind us that...
I know that some of
you might think, “I´m just NOT that kind of person.”You are right, but, here comes a great but... would you consider in doing it if that makes your marriage better?If it take it from great to incredible? I guess you´re thinking YES, I WOULD!
A second thought...to pònder about… What
would you do TODAY, to make it special? A day to remember if it was YOUR
LAST DAY TOGETHER?
We don´t
know when will this actually happen, but what we DO know is that we can live all
of our days with that in mind and keep the excitement.
Don´t let
your daily duties restrain you from demonstrating your spouse how much he/she
actually means for you.
Perhaps some of you are experiencing some marriage difficulties, and you might find it hard to be the one who gives in. Think about it again. Whatever the conflict… is it really that bad ? Does this really deserves another day, hour, minute… second of keeping you from loving and enjoying you spouse?
Perhaps some of you are experiencing some marriage difficulties, and you might find it hard to be the one who gives in. Think about it again. Whatever the conflict… is it really that bad ? Does this really deserves another day, hour, minute… second of keeping you from loving and enjoying you spouse?
Take the
decision, make a change… or light up your love! You don´t have to do great
things, small details can make a HUGE difference for you… Do it TODAY!!!
QUOTE from: Foundational processes for an enduring, Healthy Marriage. Stephen F. Duncan & Sara McCarthy Zusukha. (Succesful Marriages and Families, Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives, by A. Hawkins, D. Dollahite & T. Draper)
“True
marital love emerges from profound friendship (Fowers, 2001). After surveying 25
years of research on marriage, Gottman and Silver stated simply, “Happy
marriages are based on a deep friendship… a mutual respect for and enjoyment of
each other´s company” (1999,p19)”
“What can
married couples do to nurture love and friendship? Here are several ideas:
-Get in
sync with your partner´s love preferences. Find out how your partner likes to receive
love and then do those things often…
-Talk as
friends. Sometimes our couple conversation is all about the business of life:
the job, the kids, problems. Of course these things need to be handled, but it
is also important to make time to simply talk as friends. These type of
conversations were the kind of discussions that drew couples close in the first
place. Be sure to protect “friend time” from issues and conflict.
-Respond to
bids for connection. Our best efforts to connect in marriage can be jeopardized
as a result of the failure to respond to another´s birds, which Gottman,
Gottman, and Declaire (2001, p.4) call “the fundamental unito of emotional
communication.” A bid can be a question, a look, a gesture, a touch- any single
expression that says, “I want to feel connected to you.
-Set goals
for couple interaction.Couples can turn toward each other in many ways every
day (Gottman & Silver, 1999). To summarize the suggestions above:
- Respond to bids for attention, affection, humor, or support. An announcement of “I´ve had a rotten day” can be met with an acknowledgement of feelings (I´m sorry to hear that”), a hug, and an invitation to talk more about it.
- Make an effort to do everyday activities together, such as reading the mail or making the bed.
- Have a stress-reducing conversation at the end of the day. This involves reuniting at the end of a busy day to see how things went, and listening to and validating one another.
- Do something special every day to communicate affection and appreciation.
- Keep track of how well you are connecting emotionally with each other, and make enhancements when necessary.
Take a few minutes to watch this video, a few couples of all ages share the many ways they have found to express love for each other.
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