Wednesday, Let´s talk about MARRIAGE!

  ~~"Husband and wife 

have a solemn responsability 

to love and care for each other."  ~~

 

Are you a person of details? 

 

How often do you say I LOVE YOU to your spouse?

  When was the last time you two went out together? 

I am always searching for small things to do to help my dear husband feel how much he means for me. 

I just love to surprise him, I love to see him smiling. I am always thinking... He married ME, he chose me and I chose him over... thousands of thousands... I am constantly doing things to remind us that... 

 I know that some of you might think, “I´m just NOT that kind of person.”You are right, but, here comes a great but... would you consider in doing it if that makes your marriage better?If it take it from great to incredible? I guess you´re thinking YES, I WOULD!

A second thought...to pònder about… What would you do TODAY, to make it special? A day to remember if it was YOUR LAST DAY TOGETHER?

We don´t know when will this actually happen, but what we DO know is that we can live all of our days with that in mind and keep the excitement.

Don´t let your daily duties restrain you from demonstrating your spouse how much he/she actually means for you.
Perhaps some of you are experiencing some marriage difficulties, and you might find it hard to be the one who gives in. Think about it again. Whatever the conflict… is it really that bad ? Does this really deserves another day, hour, minute… second of keeping you from loving and enjoying you spouse?

Take the decision, make a change… or light up your love! You don´t have to do great things, small details can make a HUGE difference for you… Do it TODAY!!! 

QUOTE from: Foundational processes for an enduring, Healthy Marriage. Stephen F. Duncan & Sara McCarthy Zusukha. (Succesful Marriages and Families, Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives, by A. Hawkins, D. Dollahite & T. Draper)

“True marital love emerges from profound friendship (Fowers, 2001). After surveying 25 years of research on marriage, Gottman and Silver stated simply, “Happy marriages are based on a deep friendship… a mutual respect for and enjoyment of each other´s company” (1999,p19)”

“What can married couples do to nurture love and friendship? Here are several ideas:

-Get in sync with your partner´s love preferences. Find out how your partner likes to receive love and then do those things often…

-Talk as friends. Sometimes our couple conversation is all about the business of life: the job, the kids, problems. Of course these things need to be handled, but it is also important to make time to simply talk as friends. These type of conversations were the kind of discussions that drew couples close in the first place. Be sure to protect “friend time” from issues and conflict.

-Respond to bids for connection. Our best efforts to connect in marriage can be jeopardized as a result of the failure to respond to another´s birds, which Gottman, Gottman, and Declaire (2001, p.4) call “the fundamental unito of emotional communication.” A bid can be a question, a look, a gesture, a touch- any single expression that says, “I want to feel connected to you.

-Set goals for couple interaction.Couples can turn toward each other in many ways every day (Gottman & Silver, 1999). To summarize the suggestions above: 

1. Respond to bids for attention, affection, humor, or support. An announcement of “I´ve had a rotten day” can be met with an acknowledgement of feelings (I´m sorry to hear that”), a hug, and an invitation to talk more about it.
2. Make an effort to do everyday activities together, such as reading the mail or making the bed.
3. Have a stress-reducing conversation at the end of the day. This involves reuniting at the end of a busy day to see how things went, and listening to and validating one another.
4. Do something special every day to communicate affection and appreciation.
5. Keep track of how well you are connecting emotionally with each other, and make enhancements when necessary. 

Take a few minutes to watch this video, a few couples of all ages share the many ways they have found to express love for each other.

Wholesome Family Recreation: Building Strong Families

I know we all want to BUILD A STRONG FAMILY. 

   

Have you ever wondered... How can I make this possible in a 24/7 busy lifestyle? 

The daily activities and responsibilities can actually separate us from the path of taking care of our family. 

I have found myself in situations where I have to stop, make a pause and let go an activity, because it´s taking part of the time I can be spending with my children.  Have you been in a similar situation? If you do, you might understand how hard it is to live life running. If you don´t I am thinking that might probably be because or either you are a great person in organizing your time, or you don´t have children… 

 

So, this week I´m thinking on sharing a very nice tip, hopefully it will help you and me … and all those families (like mine) that are really busy during the week. 

Research has suggested that “as families participate in challenging outdoor adventure activities together, communication patterns are strengthened (Huff, Widmer, McCoy, & Hill, 2003). When Families are together for an extended time in the outdoors, they are able to reconnect with each other.

The absence of cell phones, internet, and television allows family members to interact. When families take the time and make the effort to go hiking, camping, and backpacking, and engage in other outdoor pursuits, they learn to cope with new and diverse environments as a family. These type of wholesome family recreational experiences promote family members´ beliefs in their bility to resolve conflicts at home. (Wells, Widmer, & McCoy, 2004) … The time and effort required to engage in wholesome recreation, wheter it involves taking part in aplay or going camping, is well worth the effort.

Take advantage of these days where we are having spring break, or holidays, make a plan with your family and enjoy together of it.

I´m sure that you will be having some challenges in the way, but you will definitely be able to face them and conquer them... TOGETHER! 

"Play Together, Stay Together

Families that play together stay together, especially when their play is uplifting and wholesome. Family vacations, holidays, birthday celebrations, and other activities build strong bonds and feelings of self-worth. The phrase “Remember when we…” is sure to bring love and laughter in the years to come.

(From https://www.lds.org/family/activities?lang=eng) "

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Yo sé que todos deseamos formar FAMILIAS FUERTES

Alguna vez te has preguntado... ¿Cómo puedo hacer esto posible en un mundo en el que vivo ocupado practicamente 24/7? 

 Las actividades diarias y nuestras responsabilidades pueden separarnos del camino de cuidados y atenciones a nuestra familia.

Algunas veces me he encontrado en situaciones en las que tengo que detenerme, hacer una pausa y dejar alguna actividad puesto que me está quitando el tiempo y con ello la oportunidad de pasar tiempo con mis hijos ¿Alguna vez has estado en una situación similar? Si tu respuesta es sí, entonces comprendes que a veces tienes que andar corriendo de aquí para allá y de allá para acá. Si tu respuesta fue NO entonces probablemente eres excelente organizándote o… quizás todavía no tienes hijos.

Entonces esta semana, quisiera compartir contigo un tip, espero que te ayude tanto como a mí… y a todas las familias (como a la mía) que tienen una agenda muy ocupada en la semana. 

  

Investigaciones han sugerido que “las familias que  participan en actividades de aventura al aire libre fortalecen sus patrones de comunicacion. (Huff, Widmer, McCoy, & Hill, 2003). Cuando las familias estan juntas por un tiempo prolongando al aire libre, son capaces de reconectarse unos con otros.

La ausencia de teléfonos celulares, internet y televisión permite la interaccion entre los miembros de la familia. Cuando las familias se dan el tiempo y se esfuerzan para excursionar, acampar o hacer cualquier otra actividad que los ocupe en actividades al aire libre, aprenden a lidiar con nuevos y diversos ambientes como familia. Este tipo de experiencias recreativas y saludables fomenta en los miembros de la familia la a creer en su capacidadpara resolver conflictos en el hogar. (Wells, Widmer, & McCoy, 2004) … El tiempo y esfuerzo requerido en la participacion de esta sana recreación.. bien vale la pena.”

 Aprovechando el Spring Break, y los próximos días festivos, haz un plan con tu familia y disfrútenlo juntos .

Estoy segura que se podrán presentar algunos desafíos en el camino, pero también tengo la certeza de que podrán enfrentarlos y vencerlos… JUNTOS!

 

"Jugar juntos, permanecer juntos

Las familias que juegan juntas permanecen juntas, especialmente cuando su juego es edificante y sano. Las vacaciones familiares, días festivos, las celebraciones de cumpleaños y otras actividades edifican fuertes lazos y sentimientos de autoestima. La frase “Se acuerdan cuando…” de seguro traerá amor y risas en los años venideros.

(De https://www.lds.org/family/activities?lang=spa)"